Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
