I hope mine doesn't look like that
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
