I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
