i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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