WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
