I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
