he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
