How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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