Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
