I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
