Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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