Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
