oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
