i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
