WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
