Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
