Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
