i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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