I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
