Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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