All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
