I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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