After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
