woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
