No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
