He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
