yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I wish i was in the wii world.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize