And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
