Pants 0. Shit 1.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
