Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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