i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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