apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We left the knife in your bed.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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