hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I need mimosas to revive my soul
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
