the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
