Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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