do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
