...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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