We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
