The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
