i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
