she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize