She is in my trunk
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
