How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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