I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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