you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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