bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
