I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I am one with the molecules
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
