If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
