even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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