remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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